Stop Giving Toxic People Your Friendship
Toxins aren’t just in your food, or your products; they are also in your people.
Are you surrounding yourself with people who make you feel good about yourself?
If you aren’t spending time with people who lift you up and make you feel better about yourself, what’s the point? I think being a woman can be tough. Women can be the hardest on themselves and certainly on other women, too.
I think as we age, we really start to learn these things. You may have stayed friends with someone just because you’ve known them since you were in kindergarten, but they are super negative and bring you down. I bet you stay friends with them because you have anxiety cutting them out of your life altogether, right? If they aren’t making you happy then I recommend it. We can put friends into different categories as we age, too. Just because you went to kindergarten with Suzy and were always best friends, doesn’t mean she has to still be your best friend.
It’s normal to fight with friends, of course. I have learned over the years that it’s best to say something right away if you are upset, because stewing about it can make it come out in bad ways (especially with alcohol). I have done this a couple of times, and it makes things way worse, and it doesn’t always come out the way you’d intended.
For me, I realized who my true friends truly were when I went through my wedding, and my accident last year. It’s funny; some friends who I didn’t consider myself as close to actually showed a ton of support. Of course, there are always the ones who are there for you for every milestone, break-up, accident, loss, etc. I am lucky because I have a lot of those! If there are people who don’t give you that support though, and you put in all the effort, then why bother? Also, if you don’t feel like yourself around them, and they are judging every single thing you are saying, then that isn’t a friend, either.
If they are bad news, then cut them out completely! I once worked with someone who I did everything with. We were very close, and then all of a sudden, she freaked out on me and said the meanest things to me. It was disturbing to me that some of those thoughts had even come into her head and that she really felt that way about me. I always thought it was a red flag that she didn’t have many friends and would bad mouth girls who were her “ex-best friends.”
I took a step back and realized, “wait, I have plenty of friends who adore me, don’t have these evil thoughts about me, and I don’t need this sh*t!” I told her we were done. I had to break up with her because it was just too toxic for me and I haven’t looked back since. Cut out the bad because life is too short. You need to be surrounded by people who lift you up and don’t drag you down. Out with the old, in with the new!