Nothing Compares
If you asked me when I was twelve-years-old where I’d be at age thirty-three, I probably would have told you I would be married with two kids, have a successful career, own a home, and have lots of money. I don’t have all of those things but none of that matters to me right now. My priority is to go after what I am passionate about and I believe the rest will come in time.
I lost my job in August. I had been an event planner in the media industry for ten years with a steady income, and suddenly I had to figure out what I was going to do to make good money, again. Luckily, I had already started building this business, and it was as if the universe was setting me on my path to dive in and really do it. I’m lucky and have also had event contracting jobs come through, so I am able to balance two things I am passionate about at the same time. If it weren’t for being laid off, I am not sure I would have had the push to really start Sage House.
I used to compare myself to other people and look at what they had, that I didn’t, and it made me upset. What I have learned is that you can’t compare yourself to other people, or you will be discontent for the rest of your life! People are always going to have more money than you, have a better body than you, or they may be one of those people where everything just always seems to go right. Don’t compare yourself to others. I guarantee you the majority of those people look at what you have that they don’t—no one has everything, even if they portray that image. Some people have all the money in the world, but they don’t have a partner, someone who truly loves them, who they love back. They may be lonely, feel miserable in their job, or they may not like their appearance.
I kept a journal while I was in recovery for my concussion because I wasn’t able to use a computer, watch tv, read, or use my phone, so I had too much time to think. Sometimes when you have a lot of time to think, negative thoughts come in and can take over. I wasn’t sure if I’d ever be “back to normal” health-wise; I didn’t know if I’d be able to work a full-time job again or workout the way I used to. I had a lot of scary unknowns ahead. I was also living away from my husband, my biggest support system, my security blanket.
Therefore, it was easy to get down and angry about the accident happening to me, especially at the time it did (3 weeks before my wedding). I had to constantly remind myself that I just needed to focus on getting better, stay positive, and not compare myself to anyone else. I put a positive spin on it and thought about the why. Why did this happen to me? It happened because I was taking on too much and going too fast. I realized the main reason it happened was because I could share my story and help other people.
I looked through my journal and saw a list of things I had to be happy for:
Nick (my husband)
My family
My friends
Frankie (my dog)
My health (I was lucky my accident wasn’t worse)
I also had a list of goals for when I got better:
Stop comparing myself to others
Take better care of myself
Be present
Stop caring what other people think
Focus on success, not failure
Take Holistic Nutrition classes
Meditate daily
Be better with money
I have accomplished all of the things on my list. If I am being honest, meditating daily, and being more present have been the most challenging ones, and I’d be lying to you if I told you I meditated every day, but I am working on it! Sometimes I get more stressed thinking I need to carve out 15-20 minutes when I could be doing something productive, instead.
If you find yourself down about not being “where you should be” at your age, don’t. The world is a very expensive place now, finding the right person is extremely hard, and if you aren’t where you thought you’d be in your career, who cares. Don’t be upset if you don’t have a lot of money, either. None of those things matter. What matters is that you are healthy and happy; you have all the power in the world to do what you want and obtain those “things” later.
I find it helpful to write down things that I am grateful for before I go to bed. We all have a lot to be thankful for and I think it’s so helpful to remind ourselves of this. Also, do what makes you happy, and what you are passionate about, and the rest will come. It’s important to know your worth, know what you deserve, and the right person will come along when the time is right. I really believe things are meant to be, and that timing is a huge part of it all.
Take risks. If you aren’t happy in your career, and are passionate about something else, find a way to do it. I went from a six-figure job to no income for a little while, but I am finding ways to make it work, and I am lucky I have the most supportive husband who stands by all of my decisions. He’s the reason I know I can do anything I set my mind too. Trust me, I have days where I am terrified and scared, but I let it be known, and he helps get me out of those ruts and I bounce right back. Find someone who can do that for you, whether it’s your mom, dad, best friend, or your therapist.
I think my twelve-year-old self would still look up at me and be pretty darn proud!